Dump Digest

Best Unsung Filk Ever, in Honor of Star Wars Holiday Special [Star Wars Holiday Special]

today is the 30th anniversary of the harm-fated tv experience known as the star wars fete singular. featuring a group of wookiees trying to celebrate the holidays while being hassled by imperial troops - along with song-and-trip the light fantastic toe numbers and comedy bits in a selection show format - the two-hour special was deemed so hideous that it was never aired again. luckily you can celebrate this day of infamy with a little facilitate from shawn moynihan, managing editor of editor & publisher, who has sent us a little prevarication . . .

Here is Shawn’s original musical tribute, intended to be sung to the tune of “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”:

It was 30 years ago today We didn’t have a VCR to play George had given in to CBS Who tried to do Star Wars with less

But it didn’t take too long to see What a horror it would come to be Holiday Special, aww, you were so bad

Wookiees talking with a Shriiwook* sound No subtitles to be found Everything was going awfully wrong Bea Arthur singing cantina songs

But that night they introduced you to A bounty hunter in green and blue Holiday Special, aww, you were so bad

Malla cooking with a Bantha stew Art Carney brought a gift or two Itchy fantasies to kids’ dismay Diahann Carroll where are you today

Lumpy watching animated Fett Harvey Korman took one in the head Holiday Special, aww, you were so bad

Now Chewie made it home in time For a Life Day chorus line And people, if we’ve learned a thing, Don’t let Carrie Fisher sing Thank the Force that you will never see Lucasfilm release a DVD Holiday Special, aww, you were so bad

(* Shriiwook being the language of the Wookiees.)

We just don’t know what to say, Shawn. It’s . . . beautiful! And it even has a footnote!

Star Wars Holiday Special [via Wikipedia, source of all information about fiction]

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