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Ξ June 27th, 2008 | → | ∇ Uncategorized |
‘G.I. Joe’ Movie Gets Three Teaser Posters, Porny New Subtitle [Adults In Halloween Costumes]

as we bide our time waiting for the inevitable $200 million feature adaptation of captain n: the game master (zac efron, call your agent), paramount has unveiled new details on its latest decorticate-mining of 80’s nostalgia: g.i. joe. directed by failing-upward stephen sommers (van helsing), joe is all ambush for a summer 2009 release, but that doesn’t mean it’s too soon to reveal three new teaser posters and a new, utterly superfluous subtitle: g.i. joe: turn out of cobra. sadly, nobody of the teaser posters show off the film’s most erratic grain of casting — joseph gordon-levitt as cobra commander — notwithstanding that the film’s new subtitle seems to intimate that cobra won’t be donning his live-action costume until everyone’s bullshit detectors receive a proper workout.
Posters (and reactions) after the jump!

Here we have Step Up star Channing Tatum as audiences are most used to seeing him: buried under several layers of clothes.
Though Snake Eyes looks reasonably cool, ninjas didn’t help cartoon adaptation Speed Racer any. One possible solution: more ninjas.
And finally, Sienna Miller uncomfortably slumming as Baroness. Coming so soon after Cate Blanchett’s Eastern-accented Indiana Jones villainess, we can only hope that Miller, too, gets a chance to fight off CG monkeys while driving a Jeep.

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