Social Decline

11 July 2008

Jeff dye

Posted by socialdecline under: Uncategorized .

Great Moments in Frivolity, Part II

Yesterday we looked at March’s monkeyshines and April’s assininity. Today we wrap up with May, June, and July. What? July’s not over yet? No worries. I’m sure no one will do anything stupid or noteworthy for the rest of the month.

May

Multiple news outlets profile the Royals’ dynamic duo of Zach Greinke and Brian Bannister. They make for a great story. One guy is a much better story, however. I mean, when you consider all of the adversity he has overcome and the affliction with which he has struggled, man, you just get misty. I’m talking, of course, about Brian Bannister and his ability to hold a job without possessing a Major League fastball.

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Jeff Dye gets owned! by Jeff Dye Watch it on MySpace Videos. … This is what happens when you make gang jokes when there is a blood in the audience.

Sticking with the Royals, on May 2nd, reliever John Bale, frustrated at yet another poor performance, breaks his hand after punching a door. At the time he has a 7.63 ERA, which means that he was probably doing his team a favor by putting himself on the DL. Inspired, the Giants put pictures of one of the guys Barry Zito’s ex-girlfriends hooked up with on every door in the clubhouse, hoping for a similar miracle.

Paul DePodeseta, the Padres Special Assistant for Baseball Operations, starts his own blog. Team President Sandy Alderson is generally supportive, but hopes that DePodesta is strongly considered for the Mariners’ vacant GM position so that he can get the use of his basement back.

Hall of Famer-elect Rich Gossage rants about how it takes three pitchers today to do the job that he and his bullpen brethren did back in the dark ages of the 1970s and 80s. Juan Marichal, Bob Gibson, and Sandy Koufax roll their eyes. Cy Young, Pud Galvin, and Tim Keefe inquire from beyond about what, exactly, a “bullpen” is.

Jeff Dye jeffdye Reunion.com Member Profile
Jeff Dye, Find profile information on Reunion.com member Jeff Dye; view pictures, blogs, and general interests of Jeff Dye

Giants’ GM Brian Sabean announces that he thinks his team can yet contend in 2008, lauding his players for overcoming all of the “challenges” and “question marks” they faced coming out of spring training. Sabean fails to mention, however, that all of the challenges and question marks were the result of his own failure to draft and develop a position player during virtually his entire Acheter du Cialis sur Internet tenure as General Manager.

Jon Lester throws a no-hitter against the Royals. Unfortunately, this is the only Red Sox game in weeks not featured on ESPN, so no one outside of Kansas City or New England gets to see it.

It is revealed that Roger Clemens routinely dispenses pitching advice to Joba Chamberlain via text message. While some express concern, cooler heads prevail when it’s pointed out that Chamberlain is 22 years-old, and as such is much too old to hold Clemens’ interest for long.

Officials from the State of Maryland hold a ceremony renaming a portion of I-395 outside of Camden Yards “Cal Ripken Way.” Best thing about it: it’s a very durable road, and thus resurfacing will not be necessary until 2024.

June

There’s a lot of talk about Chase Utley for MVP. It acheter les cialis generiques en ligne rages throughout most of the month, but eventually subsides when someone points out that he’s not even the best-hitting second baseman in the NL East whose last name starts with the letter “U”.

Joba Chamberlain makes his much anticipated debut as a starting pitcher. He only lasts three innings. The short outing has nothing to do with his lack of effectiveness, however. Rather, there are so many reporters assembled for the game that the Yankees’ media relations people thought it would be a good idea to make Chamberlain available for interviews beginning in the bottom of the fourth.

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MySpace comedy profile for Jeff Dye with gig dates, clips, pictures, blogs, personal information, downloads and more

To hype the All-Star Game, Major League Baseball creates the “Statues on Parade” promotion, in which replicas of Lady Liberty are painted with the logos of all 30 Major League teams and placed in strategic locations around New York City. Many clever wags make jokes at what might happen to a statue painted with a Red Sox logo sitting on a street corner in the Bronx. No one seems to worry, however, about plastering the racist image of Chief Wahoo over one o

Jeff Dye jjtdye Reunion.com Member Profile
Jeff Dye, Find profile information on Reunion.com member Jeff Dye; view pictures, blogs, and general interests of Jeff Dye

Tests show US shield ‘not needed’

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