The Courage of the Years

Sandra dee

Ξ November 1st, 2008 | → | ∇ Uncategorized |

Chris Cornell and Timbaland Join Verizon’s Network

Curious about Chris Cornell and Timbaland’s Sunday Showbox set, but not enough to buy a ticket? Then go see them that afternoon at Tukwila’s Verizon Wireless store?for free. The duo will smolder, issue autographs, and perform something from Scream, Cornell’s upcoming collaboration with Timbo.

How’d the former Soundgarden screamer become a cell-shill (as seen above, at about 1:00)? A recent (albeit imaginary) conversation between Cornell and Timbaland provides evidence.

Cornell types a Myspace blog post on his Blackberry Storm. The phone rings?it’s Timbaland’s “Bounce”?and he answers.

Cornell: What up, T?

Timbaland: Hey, Cee Cee. You know those new Storm phones we got from Verizon?

Cornell: I’m talkin’ atcha on it.

Timbaland: Since the suits hooked us up, I told ‘em we’d hit ‘em back with a few in-stores.

Cornell: Wait, T. You know I’m about art, integrity…

Timbaland: You’re speaking to Mr. Integrity. And I know that we show up, we reach more kids, we get more sales.

Cornell: If I show up at Verizon stores and sign a bunch of preteens’ shirts, my Soundgarden fans will never forgive me.

Timbaland: That ship has sailed, my friend.

Cornell: [Pause] I do like this phone. It’s even got GPS.

Timbaland: See? Verizon’s showing us the way, man. Let’s hit ‘em back.

Cornell: What’s the deal? We shake hands, do a few songs?

Sandra dee

Timbaland: Yeah. I’m gonna lay some beats, for sure. You should wear those jeans, too.

Cornell: The low ones? You noticed those?

Timbaland: Who didn’t? They hot.

Cornell grins, shakes his head, then snaps his fingers.

Cornell: Hey, can I do the beat box thing? I’ve been practicing.

Timbaland: Nah… You give that a rest. You hurt your throat last time.

Cornell: I didn’t know how to do it right. I’m good now.

Timbaland: You do that and I’ll get your name taken off the album.

Cornell laughs.

Timbaland: I ain’t jokin’, man.

Cornell: Okay, let’s do it. I’ll wear the pants. It’ll be off the hook.

Timbaland: You wear the jeans. I’ll wear the pants. Later.

The line clicks dead. Cornell frowns at his Blackberry, then executes a brief, raspy beat box rhythm. He coughs and massages his throat.

The pair’s appearance will benefit the Auburn Domestic Violence Task Force. Bring in your defunct cell phones: Verizon will donate them to the ADVTF.

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