The Emerald Tower

A Short Note

dear mr. bicycle man,

While I appreciate your enthusiasm for fitness, I must say that your behavior today was, quite frankly, unnerving. It was that intense look on your face as you pedaled furiously. It was the way you leaned forward in your seat, elbows on the handle bars. That in itself would’ve been okay. But then you stood up on the pedals, lips pursed, breathing in and out. Then the breathing became grunts. (Sir, I could hear you through my ipod earphones.) Then sweat started flying off your elbows.

What happened to dick clark

I must remind you, Mr. Bicycle Man, that you are at the gym, in a room with four white walls, on a stationary exercise machine. This is not the Tour de France. There is no need for frantic pedaling on your tippy toes. There is no need for animal-like sounds. There is no need to sprinkle your neighbors with perspiration as we have our own.

I hope you take this message into consideration before your next visit. Thank you very much.

Your fellow gym user,

-Elle-

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This entry was posted on Thursday, January 1st, 2009 at 6:47 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.